Laziness

That's what I feel. This is not a complaint, but pretty much since I started dating Jeff my exercise has taken a HUGE hit. I used to be SO strict about what I ate and the activity I did, and now still I watch it, but now not so much. I'm a runner. I love it. I haven't ran in nearly three weeks. Does that make me not a runner anymore? This time last year Carrie and I would do at least 5 miles. I was running 20-25 miles a week, and doing a little over an hour of weight training twice a week. I ate pretty much the same thing every day, and kept a log of what I ate. It took me discovering I was anemic--which happened because I'm a runner, a vegetarian, and a female, but also because I wasn't taking in the amount of calories I needed--to back off those weeks of 30 miles of running, and 3 hours of weights. An odd thing is for the past few years the holiday season has been my busy time in terms of photography, so my miles got less. Strangely enough I lost weight. So I also realized that the reason I lost weight at Christmas time was that the calories I was taking in was finally at a level that matched the lower activity that would allow my body not to think I was deprived and store every thing I took in. I also understand that it's okay not to be so regimented, and that depriving yourself is not good. I learned that the hard way in the past, and this year a fun way. I've enjoyed every moment I've spent with Jeff! I haven't had a hard time choosing him over my exercise. I even got him into running a bit...I hope he picks it back up. He and I walk at least a couple times a week. Still it doesn't compare to what I'm used to...or used to be used to. I don't think my eating is unhealthy. It's certainly not as strict as it was; I indulge more often than before, but still not bad. I've maintained my lower holiday weight. I realized that weight is not a measurement of health, and that activity is essential. Me maintaining can be dangerous...I can get into that mindset "I'm not gaining, I don't really have to run." We have a history of heart disease in my family. I MUST do cardio. It's hard to do sometime now though. I had my routine. My time I was better at running 6-7 in the evening. I had my schedule of eating all lined up, and what I ate before I ran. It's just so hard to plan that stuff now. I feel frustrated about it all. I can tell a difference with the way I feel....I know I felt better before. Jeff is VERY supportive of the running, and of the healthy eating. I've planned to run usually during his game time...so that would be perfect. In fact I planned on running tonight, but was so sleepy. I decided to take a nap first, and ended up sleeping 30 past when my alarm went off. Then I had some photography work to do, and I was really hungry. So again I think I might miss a run. I really had intentions that tonight I'd run at least a bit. I knew it's not going to be what I used to do...75 minutes on the treadmill. I don't know if I really have time to do that anymore. I'm going to have another person to think of, and honestly I'd rather spend some of that time with Jeff. I feel like what I need to do is set up a schedule again with less exercise time, but still enough to get what I need. Still that's hard to do when activities can be unpredictable. Where is my runner's attitude of never quite, suck it up, do it no matter what? Honestly, I just feel a little defeated because I've let it slide. I really do want to run and exercise, not as much as I used to; I don't think it's necessary to do that much, but it is necessary. We have a tentative plan to run a little tomorrow. I know when we're married and settled our schedule will likely be a little more ordinary than it is now, and it'll be easier to get in that exercise....for both of us :)

Again I must say: I SO SO SO love Jeff, and can't wait to be married to him!